In which a new mother is proven a moron

Today was an extra long visit, about two and a half hours.  But the first half hour was the first lesson for Annabelle that her mother is in fact, an idiot.  (As an aside, when I walked in, Annabelle immediately got a big smile on her face.  “Oh, the funny lady is back.”)  Anyway, I picked up the pumpkin and noticed that she kind of smelled.  I noticed it immediately, but just thought she probably just needed a change of clothes.  Why did I think that? I don’t know, it just didn’t occur to me that I was about to have my first encounter with “the nasty diaper”.  Of course, being a rational, semi-literate person, I do know about the baby diaper thing.  But I haven’t spent much time around babies and so it truly just didn’t occur to me that she needed a diaper change.  In all honesty, I think some of my cluelessness can be tagged to my subconscious view that since the caregivers knew I was coming, they’d have her cleaned up.  When in actuality, since the caregivers knew I was coming, they figured I would take care of the situation. After all, I’m her mother. 


So I brought out a fresh new “D is for Ducky” outfit and put her in it.  I bounced her around a bit.  But I kept noticing the smell. Then I figured she needed a wipedown bath. So I got out a baby wipe and swabbed her all around her arms and legs, once again completely ignoring the diaper area since I was still assuming it was a fresh diaper.   I dressed her again and put a hand puppet rattle (Thanks Rach) on her hand and watched her wave her arm around, fascinated by the sound she could make. 


Finally after a half hour of the smell, it finally hit me that I might be missing an obvious factor. I undressed her and peeked in her diaper.  Holy S*@t (literally). Is it supposed to be green?  Anyway, this is where the IKEA pictorial guide would have been useful.  I whipped out about 20 wipes (slight overkill) and took off the offending diaper and wiped her poor little butt clean.  She just looked at me mildly as if to say, “about time, I was getting a little uncomfortable.”     Then I put on the diaper.  Backwards.  I only know one thing about diapers from my friend Lisa (Yes, the same Lisa who is in charge of my color decisions from the nursery journal entry).  “The pictures are always on the front.  Always.”  So she told me.  So I brought out my Kazakh care bears diapers and put the care bears in front.  But something didn’t look right.  There was a big bulge in the front.  With a sinking feeling, I turned Annabelle over and realized there were care bears on both sides.  What kind of sick joke is that, I ask?  At this point I was laughing so hard and then I began to cry because I thought of what Marg would say about my incompetence.  Something along the lines of “you have three friggin’ masters degrees and you can’t figure out how to put on a diaper?” 


Anyway, I did get it sorted out and Annabelle was remarkably tolerant of her mentally challenged mother. 



The other thing that happened today was I had her on her blanket on this wide bench setup against the wall.  I had put a rattle in her hand and was turning to pick up my camera to take a picture when I looked back and saw her about to roll off the bench.  I had figured she was safe because I always hear that adoptive babies usually start rolling over on their own after they are adopted and this is a big deal when they do this.  It never occurred to me that Annabelle would turn out to be a rolling-over fool on Day 2.  She’s all about the self rollover. Especially when reaching a wanted toy is the object. 


It was a great visit despite the dubious start and she smiled so much.  She really does love to fly up in the air or be tilted upside down. She starts smiling whenever I move her, the bigger the Swoosh, the bigger the smile. I think she’d be fine at zero gravity So I’m thinking Navy pilot….?  Astronaut? 



Well, it’s a wild Friday night in Kokshetau so Cindy, Tony, and Julie are getting a babysitter and we are heading out for dinner which will probably last late into the night or 9:00 pm whichever comes first.